A real woman’s sport.
“You’re late”
The girl with the helmet and a body as solid as an icebox barked as I wandered, bewildered, up to the group seated rinkside.
“traffic–” I started to bluster.
She eyed me with a look so stinky, even Clint Eastwood would have shrank back a little.
I tried a different tactic.
“Yeah, well. You know. Can I still suit up?”
She seemed to like that all right. At least it didn’t seem that she was going to boot me straight out of town.
“Yeah. We just finished warm-ups. You been here before?”
I shook my head. She handed me a folder.
“Fill this out and give me your money.”
I thumbed through the contents. Lots of medical information. A release and hold harmless contract. Something about engaging in dangerous activity, I might get killed and they don’t want to get sued blah blah blah. Whatever. I signed.
Then I looked around the room. Most were built just as solid as my welcoming committee. They all had helmets. They all looked a lot like they could kick my ass. I’m pretty sure one of them growled. I’m pretty sure some were rabid. At least, that’s what it looked like with the mouthguards in.
But damn, get them in skates and they can kick your ass and look graceful while doing it. At least that’s how it seemed in warm-ups. We were sprinting, doing turns, skating backwards. They looped around me with reckless abandon. Skate on one foot backwards and jump turn? Right. I felt like it was puberty all over again. You know that part where you suddenly have absolutely no body awareness? Yeah.
Then they scrimmaged.
Lemme tell you one thing about roller derby: it’s hard to tell what the heck is going on. Much like Nascar, there’s a lot of circling. Much like football, there’s a lot of ass-kicking. And when those girls fall, they fall _hard_. But damn if they don’t get right back up and keep skating. And yelling.
“Who has the nails?”
“Seriously, who has the nails?”
“Cut your damn nails!”
This is no girl fight. This is woman brawling and there will be no scratching. Just straight up get-the-hell-out-of -my-way checking. This is no Macy’s sale, these bitches are real competitors.
Scary? Absolutely. Empowering? Hell yes. And you can bet your ass I’ll be there next week, trying to become even half the athlete these ladies are.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Dear Justice “Pulls the Ladder Up Behind Him” Scalia
(Today @jsnprkn sent me a very thought-provoking post from the Wall Street Journal Law Blog. It relates and asks readers to respond to comments made by Justice Antonin Scalia about the quality of legal counsel, some of which follow.)
“I mean there’d be a, you know, a defense or public defender from Podunk, you know, and this woman is really brilliant, you know. Why isn’t she out inventing the automobile or, you know, doing something productive for this society?
I mean lawyers, after all, don’t produce anything. They enable other people to produce and to go on with their lives efficiently and in an atmosphere of freedom. That’s important, but it doesn’t put food on the table and there have to be other people who are doing that. And I worry that we are devoting too many of our very best minds to this enterprise.”
First, Your Honor, I gotta say that the automobile? Already invented. Even us ladies of Podunk know that. And while I’m sure you’d rather have us inventing combustion engines for lugging your ass around instead of writing amicus briefs, that’s not what we’re here for. Take this really brilliant defender from right here in Podunkland: Roxanne Conlin. Give her clients a call. Every last one of their wronged, downtrodden selves that she helped find justice. Call them and find out if they’d rather trade a new hedge fund or tractor or something more “productive” in your mind for the fundamental difference she made in their lives.
This is why people enter the law. Do you need to be reminded that 35 of the 55 framers of the Constitution were lawyers? The goal is so much more than to “enable other people to produce and to go on with their lives efficiently and in an atmosphere of freedom.” Your years on the bench must have made you forget your heart.
We choose the law to strike down bigotry, discrimination and ignorance of those who came before. We choose the law because it brings fairness and justice into the lives of those who have been wronged today. We choose the law because the battles we face in the courtroom will shape the fates of those who come after us.
While we are not the ones who sewed the seeds of the corn which fed the cow which gave the steak that lands on your plate, we are the ones who protect those who do from harm. Here in Podunk we know that more than anyone. We know our food like we know our neighbors, and we sure as hell know our right and wrong. That’s why great minds choose the law, Your Honor, because of their fundamental desire to see justice served.
All right, back to studying.
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