on death and all of that

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still absolutely terrified, but the thing is that I’m starting to get it. I know a number of people who are dying right now of cancer. I’ve also had a number of friends in the past who have died of accidents or overdoses. The cancer is harder though. It’s hard to face someone who’s dying. Watch them look worse and worse. We like to deny death, it’s hard to look at it take over people we know and love. Sometimes we wonder if it’s an omen for our own life. Grief is so largely personal. So much about our own fear. I have a lot to learn about talking with people who are nearing death, and not dodge the issue when they talk. I think my relationship with God has helped a lot so far.

I just know there’s something after life. Something greater than ourselves. To deny that and leave our existence to chance is the highest display of hubris. I also know that life has to be lived in the most dynamic way possible so that when it’s our time, we can reflect on how much we have done and declare that we are ready for the next level. Until that point, we have to fight for life, treasure what we have. To not do that would be to disrespect all people as well as God.

I’m building a website for a friend who is deep in that fight for her life right now. She has extremely extensive cancer. Her legs keep giving out and she’s all swollen but when she writes, she has the most extraordinary sense of humor and is so full of life. It’s absolutely amazing. In the face of this all kinds of bills are coming that she can’t cover because her insurance is terrible and attributes everything to preexisting conditions. Anyway, hopefully a Chipin will be up soon and friends’ll rise up and throw in. I’ll link up here when it’s ready.

::UPDATE:: Netty died July 14, 2009 of a blockage. Her (now memorial) site is here if you would like to give to the family.

Filed under personal | Comment (1)